This is my very first blog post. It wasn’t supposed to be as personal but I’ve found myself doubting my ability lately and though this might end up as a piece of cathartic writing, I hope that in some little way the words might resonate with how you might sometimes feel about your ability.
So whether you are a coach, actor, agent, casting director, someone trying to get into drama school or break into this difficult, wonderful, thrilling business or someone who needs a dose of ‘you are doing just great as you are’. Give yourself a break. Not being everything to everyone is OK. Embrace your strengths, strengthen the weaknesses most importantly BE YOU. When the doubt kicks in, kick it out!
I class myself as being very good at what I do. I’m sure you do too. People tell me so and my results prove it (I can hear you saying ‘me too’) So why do I question my ability?
For me, generally, it always comes down feeling, in some way, I’ve let someone down or I offered something that wasn’t what a client wanted or I couldn’t offer enough OR simply I’m having a bit of a shit day. As I woke again, for the umpteenth time in the night, for the about the third night in a row, I suddenly remembered a phrase I often use with clients applying to drama school.
‘Not every school will suit you and you won’t suit every school’ - It’s simple really isn’t it and guess what, it’s ok!
So I delved a little deeper. I’d begun to spread myself a little too thinly, I was trying to be everything to everyone. Wrestling with these thoughts and writing it all down, reminded me that I don’t need to be. What is the work that actually thrills me? Who are the clients that I spend much longer with than the hour they paid for because I just love being part of their process. Of course we all need to earn a living but a client/coach relationship is a two-way thing. Not being the right person to guide another in their work should not be seen as a failure. We are all unique and it is that uniqueness that we offer that suits the clients who keep coming back. If it doesn’t suit the client or the coach, those sessions are not going to be thrilling, resentment will set in and the great work will stop, for both parties. This is when we must be brave. Pass those clients on, be honest with the client that you are not the right person for them. Don’t hinder the client by not allowing them to seek someone else’s uniqueness that will help them flourish and develop; In turn giving you the space to let another fine person/company/experience into your work life. Clients it’s OK too (there I go again with the OK word) to move on and work with the person that you click with. There should be no blame game, no guilt because either or both parties have been honest.
To finish off; a couple of new mantras to add to my list:
‘Not every job will suit you and you won’t suit every job’
‘Not every client will suit you and you won’t suit every client’
Now let’s all go and be BRILLIANT at what we do best!